Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Giving People a Chance

This year I've come to realize that there were many things that I thought unacceptable, things that were not fair towards someone, a group of any kind, or a country, i.e. a difference of any kind. But although I kept feeling angry about this or that inequality, I started wondering if there maybe was something else, something common to all these unacceptable things. I'm currently reading a book on shame and self-worth by Brené Brown (which I'll let you know about very soon), and suddenly it crushed me, what bothers me with all these inequalities is people and how they behave. Their use of stereotypes, of discrimination, of excuses, of exclusion of the difference, of creating a pack of people with who they belong to stay safe from the OTHER. In other words, I came to hate the judgement in people's 

Where is our compassion gone? Why do we always need to judge a book by its cover? It seems like we always feel the need to judge someone even before meeting him/her. Just from the depiction someone made of that person, we already assume we know all about his/her kind. I find this discovery shocking and saddening. Just yesterday did I hear a mother tell my own that she had convinced her daughter to break up with her boyfriend, with whom she'd been living for two years, because she thought he was of a lower class and education than her. I felt infuriated. Not just about the social class factor, but also because of what this mother was caring about. She didn't even once mention her daughter's happiness or non-happiness with the man, or her love or non-love, her well-being or not, etc. She simply didn't even care for that, because it didn't matter if she loved him, or felt great with him, because he just couldn't be his daughter's match. 


Maybe I'm overreacting once again, but I don't believe so. What's up with giving people a chance? It's not just a race matter, a matter of what sex you're attracted to, what part of the world you come from, what religion is yours, it's also a human matter. How many times are we not judged by our siblings for something that we did or were in a past so far from now that you don't even see how someone could still cling to that? How many times are we not led to feel ashamed of who we are, what we did, what we think, what we like, who or what we would like to be? How can we love people and imprison them in what WE would like them to be? Incredible? But true! Isn't it time we show a little more compassion and interest towards those around us, especially those we love, and deal with our own insecurities ourselves instead of reproducing them on those we care for? Because in the end, my friend's mother is a very loving mother, who's only wish is for her daughter to be happy, only instead of showing her not to be imprisoned by her own insecurities, she perpetuates them, believing that she'll be sparing her trouble and unhappiness. Don't you think this man deserved a chance? Didn't this couple deserve a chance? Don't you and I deserve a chance? I think that everyone deserves a chance.

Have a great day, and keep your mind sharp!

P.s: If you were wondering about the book I mentioned, it's called "The Gifts of Imperfection", by Brené Brown.

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