Saturday, August 9, 2014
The Lies We Tell..
I've been thinking a lot about lies lately. About how bad they really are, or about the types of lies that exist, or about why we lie, etc. And I've sort of come to a conclusion that lying can be very wrong indeed, and that it's usually considered as a bad trait for someone to be called a liar, but that there is something more important to lying than its result. I think that we focus too much on the fact that we lie, and not as much as we should on the "why" we actually do. When you ask yourself the question of why you/your partner/your friend/anyone lied, the answer is generally because of shame, or a feeling of not being/having enough, or a lack of self-confidence, or any kind of those feelings. And I can't help but wonder then, why isn't that our main focus when someone lies (including us)?
What we generally do is that we start the judgement. We feel like we're better than the other, because we caught him/her lie, so that we've revealed the kind of person that she/he is. When in truth what we should be worried about, is why this person standing in front of us is lying? How come someone wouldn't want to just be him/herself in front of you? Well, I know it might seem a little too much thinking for a simple conversation, but I think it's worth a try. I know for myself that I sometimes lie for reasons I often regret afterwards. I lie or omit to mention something because I want to protect someone's ego (or mine obviously), or I also lie when I think that what I'm going to say will be interpreted in a way that I don't want it to, or when someone will get a picture of me I don't want (them) to see, and oh so many more reasons for me to lie... But if I do it so easily, and people around me do too, then you must be too... Only, when it comes to us, we don't call what we do "lying", we say the kind of things I just did previously. We pretend we did it for the greater good, we supposedly help someone, or just omit something, or exaggerate a little things, when what we're really doing is lying...
So why this sense of shame? Why do we feel awful about people figuring us out? And why are we ourselves so judgemental about others' lies? Aren't we all doing the same thing? I believe that a little more awareness of this wouldn't do any harm. I think that accepting this part of ourselves, or basically, this part of the human mind, would be very helpful. To us. But also to others. Don't we all deserve to be weak at times? Why is there always such a fuss about someone being dishonest about something, when the same people who denounce this shameful crime have probably lied/exaggerated/omit something the very same day? Anyway, you get my point. I just wish we would all give ourselves and others a break about being honest all the time, because it is simply a myth. It is not possible to be honest all the time, and besides, neither you nor others want you to be honest with them 24/7... There are something that we prefer not to hear or say. So why not try to be honest most of the time, but accept that dishonesty is just another common thing that everyone experiences, every once in a while?
Have a great day, and keep your mind sharp?